And Another Thing by Eoin Colfer

Author:Eoin Colfer [Colfer, Eoin]
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Tags: Douglas Adams, Eoin Colfer, And Another Thing, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Published: 2012-07-17T17:12:28+00:00

The fun and games stopped shy of Thor’s alcove. There seemed to be an unwritten agreement

that the Thunder God should be left in peace, which was probably due to the very clearly written

message painted on a whitewashed wall in what looked like lumpy congealed blood, which read:

Leave me in peace and I probably won’t kill you. No promises, mind. Probably is absolutely the best I can do.

Zaphod crossed the peace line and, for the first time since entering the bar, he felt scores of eyes

on him.

Don’t fret, Zaphod, he told himself. What happened between you was ages ago. He’s probably forgotten all

about it by now. I can barely remember it myself. Something to do with an interplanetary incident involving an

umbrella with mythical powers and the secret formula for a prize!winning ice!cream. Zaphod frowned. Nope.

The umbrella/ice!cream cock!up was a completely different god.

Zaphod could see his one!time friend now, sitting at a round table with his back to the crowd.

And what a back it was, broader than the average glacier with knots of muscle the size of boulders

and huge ridges of tension in the shoulders. His red hair hung down in a shabby ponytail and the

horns of his helmet were stained yellow by long nights spent in this foul air.

Zaphod was just thinking he might open with a little joke, when the silence was filled with a

sudden uproar of sharp, helium!squeaky voices.

‘What? That’s it?’

‘That’s the big move?’

‘How many years have we been doing this? You haven’t learned a thing.’

Zaphod stepped quietly into the alcove, sneaking a peek under the crook of Thor’s elbow.

The Thunder God was being harangued by a set of golden chessmen on the opposite side of the

board. His own pieces were wooden and seemed cowed into silence.

The little golden knight was very belligerent. ‘Come on, Thor. We’ve talked about this. Never

leave your king exposed. That’s fundamental stuff. Bloody kindergarten.’

‘Watch it,’ Thor rumbled and the sound sent shivers running along Zaphod’s spine. That voice,

like a sleepy tiger growling from the bottom of a well; no wonder the ladies couldn’t get enough.

‘Or what?’ challenged the knight. ‘We are the ancient chess set of the Aesir. You can’t kill us,

we’re as immortal as you are, and a lot older, I might add.’

‘I can melt you cheeky blighters down and make myself a little piss pot. How would you like

that?’

The knight laughed. ‘You can threaten us all you want, thunder girl, it’s still checkmate.’

Thor drummed the table with his fingers. ‘You chaps set yourselves up again. I have a little

unfinished business to take care of.’ And in a fluid motion he spun round on his stool and sent the

very large war hammer that had been resting across his thighs spinning towards Zaphod’s head.

The hammer froze half an inch from Zaphod’s nose, then backed him into a corner like a hound

herding a sheep.

‘Nice hammer action,’ squeaked Zaphod. ‘I knew you weren’t going to kill me.’

Thor turned his back. ‘Get out of here, Zaphod, before I let Mjöllnir do what he’s wanted to do

since that first accursed day we met.

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